“What Am I” versus “Who Am I”: An Exploration
I’ve had the pleasure of working with many people from various walks of life and have observed that most struggle when defining who they are versus what they are. I believe this struggle originates from societal and familial expectations, which typically begin in childhood. How we are raised and the love and attention, or lack thereof, shape our identities. Experiences like reliability or broken promises contribute to forming a survival-based identity, with our brains creating a subconscious map to navigate the world.
Early Influences and Identity Formation
From life’s early experiences, our brains form expectations that develop into different aspects of our identities. We identify ourselves as sisters, brothers, spouses, parents, friends, neighbors, employees, etc. As we accumulate new experiences, our brains assimilate them into our existing mental maps. However, major life events, such as betrayal, layoffs, or denied promotions, can disrupt these maps and lead us to question our identities. These events can make us feel lost and unsure of how to proceed, challenging our sense of self.
The Journey of Self-Discovery
During such times, many embark on a journey of self-discovery and begin to understand the difference between what they are and who they are. They learn to challenge the “whats” they have been conditioned to be and realize that many of these “whats” do not represent their genuine selves. This journey involves uncovering the deepest parts of oneself: aspirations, visions, inner happiness, and the voice of encouragement and wonder.
Embracing the “Who” Amid Life’s Storms
Uncovering the “who” within us becomes crucial when life presents challenges. Although our environment might appear disastrous, knowing who we are acts like a personal Red Cross, helping us reset, refine, and recover. This understanding doesn’t just assist in navigating pain but prevents pain from turning into prolonged suffering. As Viktor Frankl wisely said, “Pain from problems and disappointments is inevitable in life, but suffering is a choice.”
Conclusion
It is time to discover “who you are” rather than merely surviving in the “what.” This journey to self-discovery can transform how you respond to life’s challenges, helping you find resilience and inner peace.
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